Boobs in Space

Someone gave me their HBO GO Code. 

Needless to say, after burning through Game of Thrones and binging True Detectives, I decided to check out the After Dark section. 

I quickly settled on "Intergalactic Swingers" in which a couple of lesbian "aliens" (two perfectly normal-looking human women wearing shiny dresses and metallic gogo boots) have to team up with a couple of [Hooters?] waitresses to stop an asteroid from colliding with the earth.

"I repeat, no signs of intelligent life."

My first disappointment was that they didn't go with the title "Deeper Impact" which is far more evocative of the plot; especially since there isn't actually any intergalactic travel, which was my second disappointment. 

Thirdly, the sex scenes are hilarious, almost as silly as the acting. Apparently HBO likes to keep things PG13 in case a 13-year-old is tuning in after his parents go to sleep. Since they don't show any genetalia, it's kind of like watching someone smash two Barbie dolls together ala Robot Chicken. 

One of the alien women has a rainbow-colored dragon tattoo. I found myself wondering if it was the actress' real ink because it reminded me of a Lisa Frank sticker book. Or maybe it's supposed to be a part of the alien's backstory? Maybe they have rainbow-colored dragons on whatever planet they swing from?

Perhaps weirdest of all is the soundtrack. Part jazz, part xylophone ambience, part techno dance; it seems to me that the sound designer sat down at his keyboard and just decided to push all the buttons. Are those whale songs over a jammin' Yanni solo? Yes, I'm pretty sure that's exactly what it is.

Summing up, if you are looking for metallic clothing, big boobs, PG13 steam, and intergalactic travel... stick with Barbarella. 

Zero Stars

End.