Midweek Mondays

Dear Mr. Hubert Pinksley,

I am writing to inform you that I will be taking leave of my senses. I am not sure if this will be a temporary arrangement or a permanent resignation, but the least I can do is let you know why I won’t be completing any of my work for the foreseeable future.
Lately, I am sure you have received complaints about my unorthodox behavior. Just yesterday, you see, I poured a cup of coffee onto Bernice’s head then did a handstand and let loose with an incredible string of foul verbiage. This morning, after driving my car into the front of our building, I promptly took off my pants, shirt, and undergarments and peed in the potted plant in the corner of our foyer.
Even though I would simply love to take the time to explain the events that transpired so as to precipitate this change in mental state; I just had the most brilliant idea about something to do with the sack lunch you left in our break room fridge today.

Hoobly hoobly hoobly ha; hop hop hop, etc. etc. etc.

Yours truly,
Jeremy Saxon

Midweek Mondays
Gabriel White, May 29th, 2012

Onioncorn: Disambiguation

The onioncorn is a particularly rare species of unicorn; it has shaggy, matted hair and bloodshot eyes. In many lesser known parts of the globe, its horn is prized as an unparalleled possession, not only for its culinary purposes, but also for the fact that the strong onion stench is potent enough to ward off large predatory animals. Because of this peculiar and potent odor, the onioncorn has few natural enemies besides humans. Nobody really knows how this genetic mutation occurred though many experts theorize that it may have something to do with their cousins the unioncorns, known throughout the fantasy world for restricting pay increases and vertical movement in blue collar jobs. Thankfully, all onioncorns, are born sterile, and thus pose less of a threat to the indigenous unicorn population.

Onioncorn: Disambiguation
Gabriel White, May 26th, 2012


Author's Notes: This guy just popped into my head while I was at work, I think I've been spending too much time around veggies. I'm not sure what I'm going to use him for though I think I may need him in one of the Barbershop Quartet books I am writing. The unioncorn may end up as a piece of street art later on...

the Rocky Road to Dublin

Even further down the road...
Things I am planning on publishing much later:
The Barbershop Quartet
Best of the Thunder and the Rain Vol. I
The Devil in the Forest - Parts I and II

More than Weeds

If you are wondering:
My first book: http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/2627781
My next book is called: "the Rotting Man & Others" (coming Halloween 2012)
But more on that later...

Metamorphosis (78 Words)

She had a small butterfly tattooed over her vagina. At first I loved it. I thought it was sexy, kinky, and rebellious. After a while, her rebellion became less attractive. Lately, all I can think about is the bartender down the street and his mutton-chop hands all over her. I don’t know, I guess I just don’t think I can live with fucking that butterfly for the rest of my life. I don’t think I could forgive myself.


Metamorphosis (78 Words) Gabriel White May 25, 2012