Dear Mr. Hubert Pinksley,
I am writing to inform you that I will be taking leave of my senses. I am not sure if this will be a temporary arrangement or a permanent resignation, but the least I can do is let you know why I won’t be completing any of my work for the foreseeable future.
Lately, I am sure you have received complaints about my unorthodox behavior. Just yesterday, you see, I poured a cup of coffee onto Bernice’s head then did a handstand and let loose with an incredible string of foul verbiage. This morning, after driving my car into the front of our building, I promptly took off my pants, shirt, and undergarments and peed in the potted plant in the corner of our foyer.
Even though I would simply love to take the time to explain the events that transpired so as to precipitate this change in mental state; I just had the most brilliant idea about something to do with the sack lunch you left in our break room fridge today.
Hoobly hoobly hoobly ha; hop hop hop, etc. etc. etc.
Yours truly,
Jeremy Saxon
Midweek Mondays
Gabriel White, May 29th, 2012
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