Skellingtons

My wife just got back from Bible camp, and I guess I have been feeling... angsty or jealous or less spiritual than her. I know this is the wrong attitude to take, but since I am a constantly contrasted individual, part of me doesn't want to change. I don't want to grow, or be challenged, or rise to the occasion. Yet, the better half of me desperately seeks to grow, to be challenged, to exceed even my own expectations. This morning, I decided to go with the latter. 

After finishing my meager breakfast of Bel-Vita biscuits and Earl Grey tea, I still felt hungry, but not for food, or at least not only for more food. Reluctantly, grumbling beneath my breath like an infidel, I asked my wife to pass me her Bible. Now, just to give you some context, my wife does this thing with the Bible, which has on several occasions been very powerful. She will thumb through it without looking until she feels led to read a passage. It is usually exactly what she needs. Often, she will continue on to read more and more passages, each confirming or deepening the message of the first. I have witnessed the power of this practice on several occasions, but felt largely uncomfortable with it. You see, my parents pretty much ground all of the mysticism out of my religion. Not intentionally, in fact, I think they would be rather saddened to hear this, but I was basically taught to view with skepticism anything which seemed mystical in nature. Despite all this, I decided to try it for myself this morning. 

Nervously, I looked at the golden edges of her Bible, wondering what I should read. Noticing a small gap in the pages, I opened it very carefully to that spot. It felt like sparks. The passage it opened to was one that I have been thinking about, meditating on, and generally mulling over for about six months now, but for whatever reason, simply haven't picked up the scripture and read. It also happens to be one of the weirdest passages in the Bible. 

Ezekiel 37: 1-14, "The Valley of Dry Bones."

The hand of the LORD was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the LORD and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 
He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?" 
I said, "O Sovereign LORD, you alone know." 
Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD! This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD.' " 
So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them. 
Then he said to me, "Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live.' " 
So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet--a vast army. 
Then he said to me: "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, 'Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.' Therefore prophesy and say to them: 'This is what the Sovereign LORD says: O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you, my people, will know that I am the LORD, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the LORD have spoken, and I have done it, declares the LORD.' " (NIV)

What this means, or how it applies to my life, I currently only have tremors, or inklings. I know that this scripture is connected to me on a very deep level, and I will not yet cease to digest it spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I do know that it has something to do with my own spiritual revitalization, that he will grow sinew and skin for the bones of my religious understanding; and breathe life into my dusty heart. I know that he wants to teach me to help others find the same thing. 

I also see the end of times in my mind’s eye. Literal bodies rising from their graves; and nations torn apart and reformed according to his will. 

What I have learned, however, is that my heart yearns for a more mystical connection to my Heavenly Father, YHWH... to be able to seek him in all of his power and mystery, without being tortured by my twisted and lacking mind, without constant skepticism or fear of somehow screwing up. I believe he transcends understanding and earthly things, that he is an incomprehensibly beautiful being who's very existence and nature defy our current understanding and who laughs at our highest intellect whilst wrapping us in his dancing fire and whispering his love into our hearts unabashedly. 

I want to draw near to him with reckless abandon, and have my being transformed by his deep magic.

End?